A Note to Brittani
Another Day Along the Way
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Another day...
Dear Brittani,
Yesterday was your birthday. Our party wasn't what we had hoped. Your party was the best you'd ever experienced.
We are happy for you. At least, we're trying really hard to be happy for you. But, you know us. We think about you singing and laughing and dancing, while our feelings remind us of how much we miss you, how much we enjoyed you, how much you let us feel welcomed by you.
So, here is a quick note. It is really for me. I'm addressing it to you as a healthy way of getting my own pain out.
Your friends remember you. Your life on earth was a story. A story of hope and kindness, of honesty and reality, of questions and wishes.
You told the stories. With acts of kindness, suggestions for change, dreams of better days, friendships with many people, you told the stories.
You sang the stories. With a desire for genuine worship and intercession, with confessions and declarations of honesty in a world of sadness and fake religion, you sang the stories.
You craved the story. With eyes open to see what we too often ignore, with hands open to receive what your Heavenly Father handed to you, you craved the stories.
Now, you've entered the story. That story of a new home, a new land, an eternal Father. That story of mistakes forgotten, dreams fulfilled, honesty welcomed, pain removed. That story of love and acceptance, of passion and compassion. That story of a worship song with no end, no limitations, no complaints. That story of a dance, a friend, a family. You've entered that story.
Brittani, you once told me you wanted Emmanuel College to purchase a building in downtown Royston for two reasons. To provide a place for 24 hours of worship and prayer, and to be more influential in helping the community. Now, you are experiencing non-stop worship and prayer as we sit here hoping to learn from you about helping others in our community.
You once told me you wanted a night of worship. A different, unique, intimate, creative night of worship. Not a normal Chapel. Not the status quo. Not beginning at 7:00. Because you woke at 6:22 to pray, because you read from 2 Samuel 6:22 after David's dance, and because you believed starting at 6:22 would give us more time for honest, free, genuine worship, you made your proposal. Now, your worship is not limited by any time or place or sound system or opinions of others.
You once wanted to help design a small group where the agenda would mean open discussion about controversial topics. Raising questions. Studying for true, biblical answers. Thinking through how personal preferences and American politics can flavor those biblical answers. Now, your discussion group is not small at all and the answers are better than you could have imagined.
So, thanks. For your dreams and desires. For your learning and living. For your voice and your choices.
We will miss you. And, if you get a chance, ask our Father to help us enter the story and be healed in this time of grief. The story is a rough one. But we're glad it has ended so well for you.
Along the way,
Chris Maxwell
Powerful Statement: David, dancing when the Ark of the Covenant was coming into town, got naked and honest. I desire for there to be a spirit of nakedness in the form of honesty before God. Singing to Him new songs, dancing new dances, new shouts, new silences, new flames of passion to worship our God to flow freely out of our being. Forsaking all that others may think of us, while maintaining the heart of corporate worship. (Brittani Panozzo)
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Another day...
Dear Brittani,
Yesterday was your birthday. Our party wasn't what we had hoped. Your party was the best you'd ever experienced.
We are happy for you. At least, we're trying really hard to be happy for you. But, you know us. We think about you singing and laughing and dancing, while our feelings remind us of how much we miss you, how much we enjoyed you, how much you let us feel welcomed by you.
So, here is a quick note. It is really for me. I'm addressing it to you as a healthy way of getting my own pain out.
Your friends remember you. Your life on earth was a story. A story of hope and kindness, of honesty and reality, of questions and wishes.
You told the stories. With acts of kindness, suggestions for change, dreams of better days, friendships with many people, you told the stories.
You sang the stories. With a desire for genuine worship and intercession, with confessions and declarations of honesty in a world of sadness and fake religion, you sang the stories.
You craved the story. With eyes open to see what we too often ignore, with hands open to receive what your Heavenly Father handed to you, you craved the stories.
Now, you've entered the story. That story of a new home, a new land, an eternal Father. That story of mistakes forgotten, dreams fulfilled, honesty welcomed, pain removed. That story of love and acceptance, of passion and compassion. That story of a worship song with no end, no limitations, no complaints. That story of a dance, a friend, a family. You've entered that story.
Brittani, you once told me you wanted Emmanuel College to purchase a building in downtown Royston for two reasons. To provide a place for 24 hours of worship and prayer, and to be more influential in helping the community. Now, you are experiencing non-stop worship and prayer as we sit here hoping to learn from you about helping others in our community.
You once told me you wanted a night of worship. A different, unique, intimate, creative night of worship. Not a normal Chapel. Not the status quo. Not beginning at 7:00. Because you woke at 6:22 to pray, because you read from 2 Samuel 6:22 after David's dance, and because you believed starting at 6:22 would give us more time for honest, free, genuine worship, you made your proposal. Now, your worship is not limited by any time or place or sound system or opinions of others.
You once wanted to help design a small group where the agenda would mean open discussion about controversial topics. Raising questions. Studying for true, biblical answers. Thinking through how personal preferences and American politics can flavor those biblical answers. Now, your discussion group is not small at all and the answers are better than you could have imagined.
So, thanks. For your dreams and desires. For your learning and living. For your voice and your choices.
We will miss you. And, if you get a chance, ask our Father to help us enter the story and be healed in this time of grief. The story is a rough one. But we're glad it has ended so well for you.
Along the way,
Chris Maxwell
Powerful Statement: David, dancing when the Ark of the Covenant was coming into town, got naked and honest. I desire for there to be a spirit of nakedness in the form of honesty before God. Singing to Him new songs, dancing new dances, new shouts, new silences, new flames of passion to worship our God to flow freely out of our being. Forsaking all that others may think of us, while maintaining the heart of corporate worship. (Brittani Panozzo)
15 Comments:
now i'm crying again. thanks though. the words help me heal.
Facing the reality of death is always a challenge. Thank you for giving me a lot to think about this morning. Jeff Cameron
This makes me wish I had known Brittani. She sounds like an amazing young woman.
astonishing... a beautiful life well remembered... let it live on in us
The words you write are a true for us all. We have to realize that we all write a story with our lives...when the time comes for my eulogy I wonder if my story will tell of life-changing differences that I made like Brittani's does? What will your story say about you?
Thanks for being a world-changer Brittani - I'm only sorry that you didn't know what a difference you were making before it was too late. If you know of someone who is making a difference in this world - tell them TODAY how much you love/appreciate them.
WOW! I don't think I knew her but from this she seemed like a sincere and passionate girl; EC has lost a lot in this! Praying for the school! Anna Strickland Vaughn
Hi Chris,
I wish I could have known Brittani. I'll never think of 6:22 in quite the same manner again.
Your transparent writing inspires me. I'm so glad Jan Coates introduced us. Each time I read your blog I sit back and simply say, "Wow!"
I'm sorry for your loss of Brittani, and happy for her gain that'll one day be ours as well.
God bless,
Rich Dixon
rich@richdixon.net
thanks for posting this chris.
you've challenged us to think not only about our story, but the story of those with whom our life is interwoven - even if only for a season.
may God help us to realize that with every moment, every relationship, every opportunity, every feeling (grief included), we have the opportunity to be stewards and walk faithfully with our Creator.
She lived a life of worship here. Now she is leaving the life of worship in front of the Father. She was a great missionary.
You couldn't have presented her better. It's hard to do with words, but I think you did a fantastic job of capturing who Brittani is - both to God and to us still hanging in there. Thanks for this, Pastor Chris. Thanks for all you do.
Chris,
This is great. God bless you as you minister in this difficult situation. What a wonderful young woman...I'm sure many feel the loss.
Chris J. (from Facebook)
Thanks Pastor Chris. The things you say about Brittani help me and im sure a lot of other people find peace in what happened.
-It was a real honor to get to know her for just a little while. I am extremely proud to have called her my friend. She was an AWSOME person:)
Thanks Pastor C. I am doing better but it is still not easy. So glad we believe in heaven.
I am Brittani's Aunt Susan. I want to take a moment to say thank you to the students and faculty at EC. I attended the Memorial Service in her honor and can't tell you what that meant to her mother and our entire family.
I knew Britt was special and the affect that she had on me and my daughter. In her short 23 years I did not know the affect she had on others. With the unbelievable grief we are all feeling we are selffishly wanting more from her. Since Britt can't give us what we are needing to heal you all have been her messenger. Each personal story that has been shared with us reduces us to tears but the tears are filled with pride! Thank you, EC!
She wanted to have an impact and make a difference, that was her dream. She thought it would take her years to obtain (if ever). Bravo, Brittani...You underestimated yourself....You had an impact and you made a difference!
I cannot tell you the gratitude that we all feel for what everyone at EC has done to try and help us cope, heal and let her go. While we are not there yet...you have given us the ability to at least take the first few steps in that direction. We have all been stuck in the house of denial.
We will always welcome any story about Britt...feel free to share!
Our Deepest Thanks!
Susan Dear
I'm Michelle Norris, Brittani's mom. I cannot begin to express in words the grief me and my family has felt since we were given the horrific news. I can only say that Emmanuel College has been incredible in helping us to ease the burdens of that grief in putting together a memorial service that was so touching, so beautiful and so B, that it made my family so proud of not only her but of her choice in schools. We knew she had chosen well previously but it cannot be said enough that you were her extended family, she loved all of you and you showed me and my family how much you loved her with dignity, respect and a moving tribute to her life and to her life's goals, and desires. I know that her time at EC was spent well and in giving glory to God.
Thank you so much Pastor Maxwell for this wonderful tribute you wrote & spoke to her that night, we will forever be moved & touched by your words.
Thank you to the entire EC, Royston & Franklin Springs communities for all you did for B while she was there & all you did for us during this difficult time.
Be blessed! Love to you all!
~ Michelle Norris ~
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