Chris Maxwell's Newsletter

Another Day Along the Way
Thursday, December 31, 2009

Another day,
The last day of the year. So much on my mind.

We returned for Christmas to a city where we lived for years. Many years - 24 years, actually. A city of theme parks and sunshine and friends. The lakes, the alligators, the planes. Traffic and toll roads and restaurants. The visit reminded me of what I had invested so much of my time and self into. Glancing back after a few years away reveals much.

We spent time with our oldest son and his wife. Now 500 miles north, we miss them. And their baby on the way. What will their son face? Where will they live? What are God's plans for each of their individual lives and the life of that family?

I played football with my three sons. They have aged, but they are young. I am not. I loved each pass, each run, each touchdown. I loved each timeout to get my breath. I remembered when I was the tallest and the fastest.

We played on the property of a church where I served as pastor for many years. I recalled people and events and sermons and songs. I felt joy and sadness and hope and grief simultaneously. My memories and feelings mixed together like a salad hosting a variety of vegetables. Some taste great. Some aren't very delicious but are said to be healthy. Some are best left off the plate. Memories can be like that.

And now? On a kitchen table typing after breakfast. I woke early. Time alone. To think, to pray, to eat, to meditate. Time to write.

I looked at the date and shook my head. A year ends. With so much still on my to-do-list and so much on my mind. I mentally hear two Bruce Cockburn songs: The Last Night of the World and The Coldest Night of the Year. I continue contemplating the new lyrics and music from Christine Dente's Voyage, and the words in James Bryan Smith's book, The Good and Beautiful God.

I think of previous years - they all ended. I think of future years and wonder: What will they bring to the table? How will they end? How will we respond?

During this year's final hours, can't we all take time to evaluate and set new goals while letting peace and joy flavor our moods? Can't we dream big, refusing to allow past failures control future possibilities? Can't we look in the mirror and smile? Can't we glance at the number 2010 and realize life contains more than the numbers of bank accounts, stat sheets, and success evaluations? Can't we forgive others? Can't we forgive ourselves? Can't we receive forgiveness from the Forgiver? Can't we love and live life?

Well, my early morning text from our oldest son caused me to hit pause. This time last week we were together; today we are 500 miles apart. He wrote, "I'm up early. Sitting at the table looking for you." A little moisture came through my eyes - but, since we're told men don't cry, I'm not sure what that wet stuff was. I texted back; I prayed again, missing our first born son who will soon be a dad himself.

Then, I felt like Someone Else was voicing a statement using those same words. He didn't text it or facebook it or email it. But He spoke it in silence, so only my inner self could hear it. Someone Else said, "I'm sitting at the table waiting for you."

Our Lover and Creator is looking for us, waiting for us. Let us join Him at the table. He has prepared it. Even in our past and future years of enemies, He has prepared a table. Let's not rush past the meal; let's pause. Let's sit at the table. Let's end and begin a year beside our Maker.

Along the way,
Chris Maxwell

Powerful Statement: Spiritual formation always works the delicate balance between the personal appropriation of spiritual truth and the reality that our faith is a historically grounded community event. Both the individual aspects of our faith and its communal reality need to be part of our spiritual formation.(Spiritual Formation as if the Church Mattered: Growing in Christ through Community, James C. Wilhoit)