Chris Maxwell's Newsletter

Another Day Along the Way
Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Another day,
My friend texted me this message: "I just watched a mother with two small children say goodbye to her Army husband. She was crying. Now I am too."

Saying goodbye isn't easy. Especially when those we hug are leaving for a long distance and a long time. Especially when we aren't sure when, or if, they'll return.

I could discuss more about war and injuries and death. I try to honor soldiers and I have many friends who are wounded. So, I would say too much. For now, I want to focus on that one family as they waved goodbye. I want us to learn about our own families and friends, their crying, and our own goodbyes.

Does that man have a friend? Who cared enough for him to build a relationship, to invite him to a meal, to write a brief note of kindness? Does his wife have a group of caregivers? Who will ask her questions and listen to her answers? Who will be there for moments of sadness, tears, prayers? Who will help by spending time with those two small children?

My friend said, "She was crying. Now I am too."

Let's add this: "God cares for that family. Can't we?"

Yes, we can. Though we don't know them, we know so many in similar seasons of life. A friend or family member has departed - to war, to work, to sickness, to death, to a choice of leaving, to seek happiness in various ways. Or, a friend or family member has departed mentally while still living nearby - they work hard but never engage in conversations, care, compassion.

We can care. We can cry. We can invest time by interrupting our own addictive behavior and routines. We can enter the stories of others and offer a few minutes, a few meals, a few words.

They are crying. Are we noticing?

God is caring. Are we?

Along the way,
Chris Maxwell

Personal Study: What is this sad season of your life teaching you? How can your weakness make you strong? (Changing My Mind: A Journey of Disability and Joy, Chris Maxwell)

Chris Maxwell's article about singer/songwriter David Wilcox is in the new issue of Northeast Georgia Living. He will write more about his interview with Wilcox in upcoming Another Days, but you can obtain that magazine to read the article:

"David Wilcox and His Tunes for Fellow Travelers"
Northeast Georgia LivingSpring, 2009
http://www.northeastgeorgialiving.com/

Another Day Along the Way
Friday, March 06, 2009

Another day,
A friend asked me what I remember about thirteen years ago. I said, "Enough." Their question was related to the illness which changed my life; their question reminded me that today is the anniversary. Since I've written "enough" about that experience, I'll let my friend write about his recent experience. Here is Garrett's story:

I can still hear Walter Cronkite's resounding voice announcing the opening lines from an old television program: "All things are as they were then, except, YOU are there!" Chris Maxwell's life unexpectedly changed on March 6, 1996 and I was there. I didn't realize my life changed unexpectedly, too.

The change I remember most vividly was actually a good one. For what seemed like an eternity, Chris could remember lots of things about me, good and bad, but he couldn't remember my name. I came home from work one day and pressed the button to listen to the message (that was back before they were "voicemails"). I heard an excited, though tearful, voice exclaiming, "Your name is Garrett! You are married to Andrea! I remembered! I remembered!"

I cried, too.

Two weeks ago today my life, again, changed.

A little before midnight on February 20th, my mom died. Around eight o'clock that evening my dad called and said he was headed back to Kendal, the assisted living facility, because he had gotten "the call": they didn't expect my mom to live much longer. From then on, I took the cordless phone with me wherever I was in and around the house. Sometime before midnight I finally fell asleep. When the phone finally rang, right after midnight, I sat bolt-upright and scrambled to get to the phone. In the process, I tripped on the corner of the bed, fell and got a carpet burn on my knee. If it wasn't such a somber moment, it would have been hilarious. I heard my dad's broken voice and tears, but he had to hand the phone to my Aunt Ocie who told me my mom had died.

I cried, too.

After his "illness," Chris shed more tears than I have ever seen him cry. But if you were to ask Chris' doctors how he is doing, I'm sure they would say, "Better than I ever expected."

Now when people ask me how I'm doing I tell them, "better than I expected" and "I haven't cried as much as I thought I would."

But I know, I haven't cried as much as I'm going to.

Along the way,
Chris Maxwell

Painful Surrender: All people battle weaknesses. We all, though, can find ways to face our facts and improve ourselves. Are you aware of your own battles? Are you adapting and adjusting, or denying and refusing to refocus? (Chris Maxwell, Changing My Mind: A Journey of Disability and Joy)


(Garrett Bain is an Emmanuel College graduate and lives in Orlando, FL - but he would love to sell you his house so his family can move to VA. He is a husband, father, step-father, gardener and beekeeper. He also believes listening to Merle Haggard and David Wilcox can be borderline religious experiences. That alone probably qualifies him to be Chris Maxwell's friend. Read about Chris Maxwell's life-changing experience in his book, Changing My Mind: A Journey of Disability and Joy.)

Another Day Along the Way
Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Another day,
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. I did. And it did.

I let it snow Sunday afternoon, Sunday evening, Sunday night, Monday morning. And the small, cold, white friends-I-rarely-see came in various shapes and continued dropping, landing, and staying on the Georgia land. I let it. And it did.

But think about those words. Could I stop the snow from coming for a visit? As I glance out the window now while typing, the falling flakes did their work on their own. I was an observer, unable to stop it. The snow came without me signing an agreement to let it snow, let it snow, let is snow.

Did I have any role at all as a participant in the weather? In the precipitation, no. In my response of participation, yes.

The life of a spoiled American faced conflict when the power stayed off for 24 hours. Debbie and I did not enjoy the moments of being unable to drive up a small hill to return home and enjoy the snow. A techno-addict struggled during a day without email, a day when cell phones failed to stay awake and IMs went nowhere. A little heat would have been nice when coming back inside after tossing snow balls and walking through our own Narnia in the winter.

Instead of complaining about those issues, though, we chose to enjoy. Snow - not too much like my northern friends, but just enough. Snow - a stranger during my many years in Florida, but now a surprising visitor. Snow - a reminder of our Creator's creativity, a realization of power far beyond our control, a rest among beauty.

I giggled like a kid. I stared at a snowman and remembered Mama. I prayed a few Psalms while walking and feeling snow covering me as an outfit I could never purchase in a store. I enjoyed moments with family and friends. I ate the breakfast a friend brought our way. I loved a dinner with neighbors.

So many times we fail to let interruptions motivate us to notice what we frequently ignore. Letting it snow wasn't my choice. Enjoying the snow and the people I would not have spoken to if the day had been normal - that was my choice.

And that is where I'll end. Think about the people. In our hurry and our hustle, we fail to see them when they're beside us. We should let some type of snow fall and stop our addiction to ignoring people.

I'll try to do better. I'll also begin introducing you to a few friends. The Another Day devo-blogs will become interviews so you can hit pause for a moment and meet someone.

When meeting them through a story, giggle and stare and notice and pray. Pause and welcome. And let it show you more of yourself and your Creator. In the snow or sunshine or painful storms, let a friend show you more of life.

Learn. And let it show.

Along the way,
Chris Maxwell

Peaceful Suggestion: As a gift to yourself, try this: next time someone asks for your time, put aside whatever multitasking you are doing and just be fully engaged with them for five minutes. Look them in the eye, really listen. (Rest: Living in Sabbath Simplicity, Keri Wyatt Kent, Zondervan, 2009)